that evening, his dreams consisted of nothing other than painful, haunting memories;
okay. you can do this. but dear starclan, he was shivering from the cold.
sloeleaf was standing in a relatively shallow stream, crammed full with uneven stone, and numerous other crooks set up just perfectly for one to twist or strain their paw. chilly water stirred up and down to lap at his low-hanging, soft black belly fur, and he squinted up towards the bank where sunshine dazzled through the treetops. there stood lionbelly: with a grimace on her face and her brilliant cream-furred brows furrowed tightly together, she appeared to be more sickly and frightened than he'd ever encountered her to be. he unsheathed his claws and plunged them into the pebbly mud at the bottom of the stream before exhaling softly. okay sloeleaf. you can do this, she can do this.
"come on, lionb-belly," swishing his feather-like tail in the fresh air, he started off by calling out to her with a few stumbling words. in each and every one, and all of the moons that he had grown to associate with her, despite the both of them being streamclanners, he had never seen her in the water. and that kind of debilitating phobia was precisely the situation a mediicne cat handled. it had already been quite some time since he had first begun to work with her, even though for the most part, they had merely spoke about her experiences, struggles, and emotions toward the subject matter, "water." lionbelly, forever eager to surge ahead with her bravery, believed that this was the next logical step. and so here he was, proving that the breath-taking - uh - the uh regular old she-cat would be safe if she only ventured just a tad bit into the water once more. "you can do it,"
but lionbelly remained still, utterly motionless against the bank of the stream. he knew that she yearned to overcome her intense fear, yet one thing became another, and there she was. the water was shallow, but it did not take sloeleaf very much thought to recognize that she viewed it as the waters that threatened to drag her under so, so many moons ago. "y-y-you can do it. i'm─i'm here." he mewed an endeavor to warm up the she-cat with reassurance and confidence. sloeleaf frowned as the she-cat flinched backwards, her claws immediately digging into the ground, before her stomach visually lurched almost as if she had eaten a bad fish. “u-uh . . . eer . . . sloeleaf,” she breathed, struggling to prevent her voice from trembling. "i don’t . . . i don’t know if i want to do this, or if i even can."
oh, she was most certainly ill. sloeleaf hoped, wished, and prayed to starclan that she wouldn't vomit into the water. he shook his head at the sound of her squeak, gazing into her pale green eyes like mint leaves wide and frantic. there was no way he was going to allow her to get out of it this quickly nor easily. no, not after all of the work they had dedicated themselves to get done. he extended a paw, before raising it avobe the waters surface to show the depth─just waist deep. and he was smaller than the cream-and-white maine coon; perhaps it wouldn't even touch her belly at the slightest. "you do," he responded near instantly, staring at the she-cat with orbs of pale-honey. "you t-told me you─you do. so we're going to . . we're going to do it, o-okay?" sloeleaf hated knowing that the she-cat, his friend, was living with this fear - and she couldn't keep living with it. it was crippling her emotionally, with her intense desire to be good enough, even though he knew she was good enough. she was more than that actually, she was . . .
never mind. it was his job─he had to help her, and he refused to let himself fail at it. no, especially not when he knew he could get her to face her fears, to defeat them. "l-lionbelly, get in th-this water right now." the large black tom-cat flicked his ears forward in a stern, serious motion. "you kn-know i won't let─let anything happen to you" he pleaded, before pausing momentarily.
“a-anything at all.”
sloeleaf's eyes jerked open, revealing two luminous orbs wide with horror. a biting breeze whistled through the pockets of his den and inside to trespass where he was seated. as if his morning could not succumb to any worse, it drove leaves and feathers ruffling each and every which direction around the tall cat's black paws. he let out a light and quiet grunt of annoyance, before he moved to sweep the leaves back into place with his massive, long-tail. foxdung!─marigold . . . i need marigold. throughout the leafbare moons, he had begun to run perilously low on his supply due to skirmishes between the borders, and it certainly wouldn’t help anybody if all the warriors died of infection or disease. eyeing his herb stocks, another growl escaped the slope of sloeleaf's lips. tansy wouldn't hurt either─he needed that. perhaps he could manage a couple more days without it. besides, newleaf would be on its way within a moon or two, and with that came a sense of freshness and budding leaves.
the still-sleepy tom-cat brushed a few wilted and dries leaves of marigold aside, moving them against the wall of the den before starting out into the swiftly approaching night. he blinked his yellow eyes, before sending a cursory glance to the fresh-kill pile. as it seemed, nothing really called to him. perhaps i will wait for warmer prey to arrive, he thought to himself, before deciding that perhaps he would hunt while he was out. down towards the rock pools, marigold always seemed to be plentiful and lush, and well─the water was constantly teeming with little, shiney fish. sloeleaf’s thoughts trailed back to the she-cat who had appeared in his dreams only moments ago . . . the tom shook his head soberly. he would not allow himself to become caught up in something that was needless to say, gone. instead, he thought of his sister: they had last visited eachother two days ago near the area, and they’d nearly been caught by a moorclan patrol. nightchaser had pushed him roughly and frantically into one of the pools, and then scampered off like nothing at all had happened. it was far from easy to explain his soaking pelt when he returned back to camp.
maybe he’d catch sight of her again.
no. no he would not see her again. instead, he would wait on seeing her similiar face again.sloeleaf stretched each one of his long limbs, before springing from the small stream dividing camp, and trotting briskly towards the exit.
"e-excuse me," a stammering, weak voice from sideways, broke sloeleaf away altogether from his thoughts. startled, he peeked over his shoulder in efforts to identify the source of the noise─ah! whitepaw. the little, runt of an apprentice had spent a lot of time snigging around the medicine-cat den as a kit. though back then, hawkeye was still around and . . . alive. and at the time, sloeleaf had felt entirely unprepared for anything resembling an apprentice. he was hardly over 6 seasons old, which was commonly thought of to be fairly young for a fully-fledged medicine cat. he took a moment to linger and trace his mind across the thought of his mentor─a wild-furred she-cat with huge sky-blue eyes that were too wise even for her old age. she taught him so, so much, a very significant amount of useful information. sloeleaf, well─although he had taken an apprentice recently beneath his wing─highly doubted he was capable of doing the same at this point.
sloeleaf watched the tom-cat silently, and the tom-cat seemed to lack the courage to stare into his eyes─instead, looking fixedly down at his paws. they spoke again, haltingly. "are you . . . are you going to gather herbs?" listening in, the black maine-coon turned his mind backward to the task at paw: addressing the new apprentice that had spoken to him, he emitted a slight purr and a friendly blink at them. “o-oh!─w-whitepaw! i certainly was, would you─would you like to join me?” sloeleaf quickly prompted, striving to do his best to swallow down his speech impediment. whitepaw was barely older than a kit; there was absolutely no reason to feel such a level of anxiety, but he always did. “i-i could manage another set of─set of paws to assist me in transf-ferring the herbs back. back. or j-jaws, rather.” he lashed his tail out in frustration and irritation, the black strands whipping around every which way. it had been at least a quarter moon since he had last stuttered this severely, although he did admit─it used to be a lot worse. in fact, when he had learned to speak as a kit, almost every word that fell from his lips had been repeated or interfered with in some way. sloeleaf looked down at the white apprentice, praying that they’d eventually reach his honey-coated gaze.
whitepaw peered at sloeleaf in surprise, shocked at the medicine cat’s words and bright eyes full of hope. of course, they immediately shrunk back when they realized how close he was. perhaps the apprentice saw strength and criticism in his pale yellow gaze─though in reality, sloeleaf was just as nervous as the little apprentice appeared to be just so. that being said, sloeleaf watched as whitepaw struggled to regain their composure, straightening their posture in the process all while still making eye-contact with him. it looked to be that the brief surprise whitepaw had felt had not done anything to dull or lessen the excited glimmer shown in their wide, youthful orbs. "i would . . . i'd really like to help you, sloeleaf," the small white apprentice meowed in a rush, likely pleased that they'd stumbled over their words only once. “i like plants . . . a lot . . . i have a really good nose . . .” they trailed off, voice growing quieter with each word. the apprentice suddenly looked to feel very awkward, as if they regretted each and every one of their words they let slide from their tongue. whitepaw broke eye contact with sliebelly, an ashamed glimmer in their eye.
what is this . . . why does he seem to be terrified of me? sloeleaf thought, and he wondered if perhaps he was doing something terribly wrong. however as much, what the apprentice had said was far more interesting: he had never heard any apprentice, not even his─or warrior, for that matter─say that they liked plants. sure, some enjoyed the delicious smell of catnip, or pondered out loud over what an herb was . . . but for the majority of the time, warriors treated his practice in medicinary as if it were the most boring, dull, and uninteresting thing they’d ever been forced to endure. they complained endlessly about the taste and smell of any herb they had to ingest, or whined that they were dying of boredom when they were confined to his den. sloeleaf hoped that they were thankful of him when they didn’t die of infection or . . . a bellyache.
“well, good, whitepaw,” a rumble sounded from his throat. “that’ll be a great help. we’re looking for marigold t-today, and─oh! we could do with some more comfrey root─root. your nose will be q-quite useful.” sloeleaf slowly rose to his paws, immediately noting how he he seemed to tower over whitepaw. he flicked his tail. they needed to get going before they lost too much light, before the dangerous forest predators would start to gather at the edges of the water. hopefully, he thought suddenly, whitepaw’s mentor, owlswoop, wouldn’t need them while they were out.
after a few heartbeats of walking, sloeleaf turned his head around instantly at the sound of a loud thump; behind him, poor, little whitepaw was sprawled across the forest floor, evidently having tripped over their own four paws. he purred, amused, as the apprentice gathered themselves together to stand back up, but sympathetically moved to brush off some of the dust coating their shoulder with his tail. if he was being honest with himself, whitepaw reminded him of himself at that age in moons─sloeleaf had been gangly, awkward, all legs and tail and wide eyed. and, on more than once occasion he had gotten himself tangled up within his own paws, and had been sent hurdling toward the earth. he still felt small in his big body, but he’d grown into himself with time, and learned how to master it. maybe, just maybe whitepaw would eventually do the same. he led them further into the forest, following a small trail traced through the ferns. it was nearly cloaked with mist, though he padded quietly along, not bothering to rush nor awaken to soon to be sound asleep creatures. birds sang their evening song overhead, and sloeleaf felt his tail involuntarily twitch─but streamclanners rarely went for anything higher than ground. it was . . . much different than swimming, if he were to say at least. a small stream burbled along their path and he leapt it with ease, before turning to watch whitepaw’s crossing.
something unusual sounded in the distance.
sloeleaf strained his large, dark ears.
was somecat in distress?
he whipped around to face whitepaw, his eyes aglow with alarm. “w-whitepaw . . . i think you should─should g-” his words were cut off, as he was given no choice but to leap to his paws at the site of the small white slipping. his tail bushed with alarm as he readied himself to yank the apprentice from the brittle waters. and luckily, they managed to get out without a further issue. sloeleaf sighed in relief. he had fallen into the water before, and while it was a river, not this shallow stream, it could still very well be terrifying. “wh-whitepaw. i─i heard something in the distance.” sloeleaf scanned around the surrounding area before refocusing his gaze on whitepaw. “y-you need to go back to camp, to owlswoo-op.”
with a flash of white, the apprentice vanished
sloeleaf nervously flicked his ears before engaging towards the sound and padding onwards. he was no warrior. he could not fight. but he could heal, and he could do it well.
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